Friday, December 31, 2010
Okay--it's New Year's Eve morning and this is the final installment. :)
You'd think I'd remember the date on something as monumental as this, but I don't. I'm sure I have it written down somewhere in my "Angel Books" (small spiral notebooks where I thought on paper to GA about all this stuff--which I definitely am glad I didn't destroy and think I should go back and read now). Anyways, the years I did energy work mostly were from 1993 to 1999 when I moved up here to Fargo-Moorhead--and very infrequently the last two of those years due to the hours I put in at the senior building working two jobs.
I'm guessing this was somewhere in 1995:
The hypnotherapist, Gary, and I had worked out a trade. I was hoping to get more information through hypnosis. Gary did hypnosis sessions with me and then I did some energy work with him.
I found that I could use Healing Touch methods to work my way around the person, but then when I got back to their heads I always felt compelled to stay there. Had this strong need to hold their head in my hands--and even got to where I had a specific placement of my fingers cupping the sides of their head with thumbs near their crown that just felt right. People said they could feel energy coming down their body from their head and many people dozed off--hehe! I had occasionally been feeling more of that zappy energy when I worked on people--that tingly feeling I got coming down into the top of my head and out my hands.
Gary usually scheduled me as his last client so that I could work on him after he did the hypnosis session with me and we had no time constraints. We'd pull his big comfortable hypnosis lounger chair out into the room so that I could make my way around the lounger and eventually sit in a hardback chair behind his head. We had already done this a couple of times previously, so we kind of had a routine.
I'd worked my way around his body, had settled into the chair, and was holding his head as he lay prone in the lounger. Everything was normal, but I remember I did feel more energy in my hands the whole time before I got to his head.
After a couple of minutes something started to happen to me. The tingling sensation washed strongly down over my entire body and I had this feeling more was coming. I remember I kind of sucked in my breath and was actually frightened for a moment. The unknown, you know?! Get ready--GA popped into my head--and I automatically started this rapid mouth/nose breathing thing I'd never done in my life--and felt like I was almost lifted up ram-rod straight in that chair. Open your heart. I quit resisting it at all--handed myself over--trusting GA...and this tremendous force of vibrating energy came down through the top of my head, bolted me to the spot, and quite literally took my breath away.
I couldn't move--my hands, my feet, my body--and I could feel my hands vibrating on the sides of Gary's head. The energy came in waves--down into the top of my head and out my hands. Tears streamed down my face. I don't even know how to describe the experience very well in words. Was like having this pure god-love passing through my body. Total peace, joy, love, forgiveness... Awe--no, there's not a big enough word for how that vibrating energy felt flowing through me.
After about 10 minutes the waves subsided and my hands slowly stopped vibrating. I felt crazy wonderful--like floating with joy! Gary had listened to my sudden panting and how I stopped just as suddenly and felt my hands start to vibrate. He had just kept quiet and let the energy flow through him. Listened to me tell him afterwards what happened to me. Neither of us knew exactly what had happened, but knew it was a good thing. :)
I thought this intense energy occurrence was probably a one-time thing, you know? But then later on it happened again when I was working on somebody else! And then again. I asked the ladies in the Women's Group, but none of them had heard of anything like it.
[Aside: The women asked me to see if it might happen with one of them at one of our meetings. To my surprise--it happened. Jill, the really visual one who did long-distance healing on Dagan, said she saw this huge pillar of white light come down from above me that enveloped my entire body and also the person I was working on!?]
The intense vibrating energy would happen randomly and very infrequently. Never happened with the same person twice. I had no control over who or when. If I tried to force it to happen--the energy actually dropped. Like GA indicated in the first place--I had to get out of the way. My ego cannot be involved--at all--like in a crisis. That energy passes through me--like a super straw--but it's none of my business, you know? It is not mine to control or direct. True--who am I to think I could know what a particular soul needs? Just like with the people on the bummers--and how I trusted that I would be guided. Not my doing. Faith. (Honestly--I would probably screw it up if my head consciously got involved--ROFL!)
GA gave me a kind of image one time of there being layers and layers of energy--from deep inside a person's body and spreading outward--very far, actually. A person may have physical, intellectual, or emotional issues--but all those obstacles or wounds or blockages or whatever you want to call them--they are all chosen to be carried by that soul--sometimes for many lifetimes. They can choose to learn, accept, and release them, too. Free will. And since we don't know what particular soul lesson is being learned, we don't know what obstacles that individual needs to learn to overcome. Or when divine elimination of an obstacle may be the very source of knowledge for that particular soul. (God can do anything.)
This gift of free will is a double-edged sword. We can be our own worst enemy. When we don't have to be. We can choose to cling to our particular dark spots or obstacles and carry them with us. When, in fact, each of us is a shining, pure, vibrational note of soul energy. One unique note in God's orchestral symphony.
This godforce energy felt too--well--holy for me to be calling it "bunny stuff" anymore. Good grief! That was like making light of something that felt so precious, you know? It was actually GA who gave me the term "soul comfort" to describe it. Perfect!
Well, looking back, I would probably guess that what I came to call the "full blown soul comfort" only happened maybe a dozen times altogether. The last time was a while before I moved up here in 1999.
[Aside: I bought my very first computer in 1998. When I was supposed to pick a screen name--and back then they told people not to use their own names--just to be clear on this, it was GA who wanted me to use soulcomfort. That just seemed sooo arrogant and was extremely uncomfortable to me. I couldn't decide on another name--kind of argued in my head, like we do, over this for a day or two. (I only had a couple hours a day online available to me back then-on call and only one phone line.) What GA does--he just keeps popping something into my head--over and over and over. Very annoying when you are trying to work. I finally relented. (Figured I could change it later, but get him off my case--hehe!) Turned out--over the years--I have grown comfortable with it. But now that I have told you all this story--maybe not so much anymore.]
Well, all of this long tale was actually leading somewhere. GA gave me new "information" mid-December. I am supposed to learn how to do the full blown Soul Comfort here--by myself. Just send it outward.
Say what?! (He's been really quiet for the better part of a decade! Then, out of the clear blue sky he hits me with this!?)
It's for you, too--he tells me.
That struck to the very heart of one of my major core issues. Not feeling worthy. Makes me cry to even talk about this. I've been getting from GA that, for it to work the very best way, I have to include the straw itself--allowing and absorbing that energy, too.
I have been wrestling with this for the last two weeks. Feels like a lifetime ago that I was doing energy work--over 11 years now. Truth--GA wanted me to write about all of this for all these days and be done by today--New Year's Eve. I got that loud and clear after Dagan and Leah and I had Sacred Circle on the 21st. Probably because I needed to let this sink in and I told Dagan and Leah I planned to start trying to learn how to do this at my usual New Year's Eve ceremony I'd be doing by myself. (Can check other years on my blog.)
As I told you--it is shocking how well I have been physically doing despite sitting at the computer all these hours--for all these days! (Maybe I am already accepting some of that energy??) And I know one big reason why he wanted me to write about this. When I write--I kind of go back there, you know? The writing has turned out to be almost like spiritual prep time--ROFL!
I'm sure I'll have more to say along the line, but now you are all caught up. 2011 is the year for Soul Comfort. Since it took me a long time (1-2 years?) to build up to being able to handle the intensity of that energy before, I am not expecting to reach that point for quite a while--but I will tell you all about it if and when it happens. :):)
Tonight: I will gather up all my crystals and such, like I always do. Since we just had Sacred Circle and did the angel cards and burning bowl--I think I will just write in my brand new spiritual journal. And then I am going to light a candle, turn on my Music To Disappear In CD (yes, I have it on CD now--wore out a couple cassettes--hehe!), sit quietly, and hand myself over.
Wish me luck! :)
Happy, happy, happy new year!!!
First we had freezing rain...
...and then the blizzard moved in.
Dagan and Leah were both let off work early. Leah already knew hers is cancelled for Friday, too. Dagan's likely will be, also. The wind howls and pounds against the building and it is one degree out there. Supposed to keep snowing through Saturday. Super white New Year's up here!
I have to tell you that something unbelievable has been happening since I started writing about all of this. Been about eight years since I have been able to "write-write" for hours, as many of you know. These "parts" have been close to that and have taken me several hours each to write. Except when I couldn't sleep for those two days--well, I am still functional!!!??? And I am still doing other things as well!!??
I have been afraid to say anything for fear it would suddenly stop and I'd be crippled up with that knife pain for a week. But I only have one more writing session to do after I wake up in the morning...and I am still doing okay!? Sore, but able to function.
Now, I realize that you guys don't see me or know how truly limited my life normally is. You don't see how I suffer when I overdo any physical activity...even Dagan and Leah only see it here and there because I usually only see them when I have time to rest up. But this is absolutely miraculous to me. :):)
I don't know if it is because I am writing about all of this for hours and it lifts my soul, or I am getting some kind of assistance because GA wanted me to write about all this and be done by New Year's Eve? (I had truly expected to only be physically capable of very abbreviated posts.) I am not sure what is going on, to be perfectly honest. It's not like I am suddenly cured or anything, but these last few days I have felt like I did back at college 8-9 years ago when I could still manage to finish my classes. :):)
I hope I haven't jinxed anything by talking about it. Maybe it will end on New Years? No clue. But it has made me very, very happy and grateful.
I have even had the energy and no knife pains...so I punched all the holes in the bookcards...got out the embroidery threads...
...and picked out colors to match the various covers.
Tonight I sewed the 35 bookcards together while I watched The United States of Tara's latest season.
Plus I have been puttering with making ten thank you cards and am more than half way done with those!!
I've washed clothes, made up my weekly check-off sheets for the next three months, wrote up my goal list for 2011, wrote a letter, balanced the checkbook, paid bills to mail on the 3rd, kept up pretty much with emails and blogs, took videos, and been organizing a few small spots. Un-be-liev-a-ble!! (Knock on wood!!)
If it all goes away over New Year's, I am soooo thankful for these days--I can't even tell you.
For now--I am off to bed. Hopeful for another tolerably decent day ahead.
Happy, happy, happy new year!!! :):):)
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Let's start out with a little giggle this morning. Truth be told--this is who I've been sleeping with for the past 17 years.
The "bunny stuff" bunny. He doesn't look too much the worse for wear for sleeping cuddled under my chin lo these many years. He had a big red ribbon around his neck when he was new but that got in the way and was removed posthaste. Oddly, he has no name. I, who name sooo many inanimate objects, have always just called him "the bunny stuff bunny". He's been fine with that. :)
Okay--practicing on people.
I really didn't know what to do. Kept "getting" to think about mother's and babies--and how mother's send energy to their babies without even knowing it. A love energy. How I knew to keep people who were upset (myself included) away from Dagan when he was an infant in the neo-natal unit--to surround him with positive energy. People send energy without knowing it--all the time--positive, negative, neutral.
Well, all I could think of was to sit across from somebody--either cross-legged on the floor or seated in chairs--and hold hands. (I felt like I wanted to put my hands on people's heads, but that seemed a bit forward for a Minnesotan, ya know.) We'd try to send energy and see if we could feel anything. Naturally I started with very close friends, Dagan, and the man I was still living with at the time. We'd put on Music To Disappear In and sit quietly holding hands. Some people said they could feel a little something. Sometimes I could feel a little of that tingling down my arms like I got when I was zapped. Nothing too exciting or definite, to be perfectly honest. But it was pleasant and meditative.
Found that if I stood up and the person was in the chair--then I felt more of that tingling sensation. Seemed more "right" for some reason. I was kind of surprised that people volunteered (I've always been a talker) from the pet shop where I worked and there were a few other people--relatives or friends of people I had done "bunny stuff" with. I started hearing about "energy work", of course. You know how when you move in a new direction, suddenly you hear what you need to hear? People would tell me that the "bunny stuff" must be energy work.
To be honest, trying to remember back--well, I'm not sure about the order of things with the energy work. There was so much else going on in my life at the time, too. My relationship ended, I tried to stay in a place that was too expensive for me (we had a lease), I got my fingers in that pressure roller at the factory (crushed the bones in two fingertips and tore the fleshy part of the one almost off), moved to a cheaper apartment in Osseo, the muscles shredded in my wrist from compensating for the finger accident about a year or so later (lack of grip and had to lift 100 pound+ rolls of paper), eventually they let me go from my job (after they re-injured my wrist 4 times-no union-either I did what they said or I'd be fired with no workman's comp-didn't care that the doctors said I couldn't do the work-sent me to different ones till I got one who said it was all in my head, etc), had to file bankruptcy, Dagan collapsed at the driving range (heart failure-had surgery to save his life-but invalid-wheelchair-could barely walk), I was supposed to be looking for work (Workman's comp was threatening to cut me off), but Dagan needed 24 hour care, experimental surgery at University of Minnesota, Dagan made it back to college up here in Moorhead, and I was suddenly offered a position (off the record by my comp job lady, because it had no pay) as a live-in emergency response person in an elderly complex (didn't have to lift anybody because not allowed to for insurance reasons). Makes me tired just to write all that down--hehe!
Anyways, during all these life happenings (a couple of years worth)...there was lots of energy stuff going on, too. I remember using visualization on my torn finger-imagining it looking like the other hand (it does and has feeling, too!). They made me wrap it and go clean and scrap machines since I couldn't run mine one-handed--and got a raging infection from it being wrapped in plastic and being around 100 or so degrees by the glue machines. Medications weren't helping-doctor was talking about having to cut it open again and drain it (awwwkk!)--so I tried to think about kind of imagining it draining (and it went down). And I used a kind of meditation to deal with the pain level.
When the factory folk were trying to force me to leave the job (so they wouldn't have to pay me unemployment, either)--they had re-injured me so many times that my whole arm was really bad up to my arm pit and in a sling so they finally quit trying to force me to use my bad arm. BUT--they still made me come to work and made everybody else do my work for me. *sigh* All I could do was turn my machine off and on--other rewinders had to come and do all the physical work (90% of the job) and yet they were counting my output as a worker--so this effected our shift's bonuses! I worked the night shift. We used to illegally play radios on the night shift. They knew this and ignored it. But suddenly they actually had office people pop in during the night to make sure we weren't listening to the radio--or doing any of the other things we did for the ten minutes while our rolls were finally rewinding. So-no music, no reading, and no writing letters (me, of course). So all of us were punished on the whole shift because of me. I felt just horrible about it. Luckily people liked me. They knew I wasn't faking anything and that I'd be on the street if I had no job and the company was just trying to get out of paying me anything. What a wonderful group of people!!
Anyways- *deep breath*-what better opportunity to learn how to meditate and be in the present moment. I had all night, every shift, for over three months before they finally relented and let me go. Thanks to them, tho, I learned a lot of things about energy and meditation, mind over matter, focus, sending positive energy (to all those wonderful people!)...lots of things.
Along the line over those couple of years I took levels one and two in Reiki. I was searching for some kind of actual energy work that felt right for me. Reiki didn't. Becoming a "master" was a long, very expensive, secretive process. I believed that positive energy was something that should be open and shared--shouted from the rooftops, actually. :)
My friend, Lynnette, found out about a Healing Touch seminar. She's a nurse and this was one of the things she could attend for recertification. We went together. Healing Touch was awesome! It's an umbrella term for several modalities and they talked about how everyone can learn this and sharing the knowledge, etc. Ahhh! I attended all the classes for Level One and for Level Two at St. Catherine's college. (Finished Level Two certification while I lived at the senior complex.)
Oh--and I went to classes called "Talk To Your Angels" (how could I resist!) and the lady running the class invited me to a Woman's Spiritual Group that rotated meeting at the women's homes. I felt totally out of my comfort zone, but I went. And I met these wonderful ladies! Some of them were energy workers, psychics, long distance healers, etc. Some were visual, audio, kinesthetic (learned a lot of new terms and of books to read). Had no idea why I was invited, but I was thrilled to be there. They disbanded years ago and I moved away from Minneapolis, but I still miss that group of women.
When Dagan ended up an invalid for those months after his surgery at Children's--well, one of the things was that he'd had a blood clot land in a lung (thank God-watched him having a stroke as it passed through his brain). Couldn't dissolve it--even with a tube into his lung dripping directly onto the clot. They said he had permanent lung damage to the bottom third of his lung. Plus, when he sat upright he lost blood pressure and oxygen because he's always had a tendency in that direction and the pressure had been so high in his heart when they did the Fontan re-do after he collapsed in heart failure that they had to put a hole between the top two chambers.
The experimental surgery at the University of Minnesota was to go in via a catherization procedure (wire up the groin into the heart) and attempt to close the hole. They'd release a patch on one side of the hole and then a patch on the other side. (Commonly done now and called something else.) But they weren't hopeful about the pressure in his heart because it had always been on the high side to begin with and there were no guarantees that they could leave the patch in. They'd have to try it and wait and see about the pressure and remove it right away if it was too high. The new procedure was called "angel wings". Need I say more. Dagan and I both thought he should go for it. :):)
Meanwhile--the ladies in the Woman's Spiritual Group told me that had been doing long-distance healing on Dagan. Several of them had come over when he was still in Children's and we did a healing energy circle standing around his bed. The one lady, Jill, had been working on him a lot on her own, too, over those months and she told me he was better and that his lung was healed. Well, when Dagan went for the Angel Wings surgery they were shocked to find out the pressure in his heart was suddenly lower than it had ever been since he was born! So they were able to "install" his heart angel wings--hehe! And they thought as long as they were in there they took a camera down to look at the lung damage--"don't know what they were talking about at Children's, we couldn't find any damage in either lung." (Jill always said she could "see" into people's bodies when she was doing long distance work on them. Totally, totally believed her after that!!)
Just writing about all of this makes me feel like dancing! :):)
I was told about a Unity Church and a Lake Harriet Community Church in Minneapolis--that they both had people there who did energy work. I had to go check that out! Ended up volunteering at both churches doing Healing Touch. At Unity they worked on people while they sat in a chair. At Lake Harriet they had rooms with massage tables! I volunteered mostly at Lake Harriet. I could bring my boom box and MTDI cassette, a candle, and have a little privacy and quiet. Was wonderful! People tended to fall asleep on me--hehe!
That's it for today. I'm still on schedule, I think. One more part left and you should be basically all filled in. TaDa!
I just wanted to say that if anyone wants to talk to me privately or ask me questions or tell me their own stories...please feel free to email me. Just put something in the subject line so I know you're not spam--hehe! (soulcomfort at gmail dot com) I may be very open about myself, but I greatly respect other's privacy.
This is food for my soul!! :):):)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My life was filled with challenges and changes--leaps of insight and fallow years--loves and losses--great spiritual confusion and moments of crystal clarity. Even after "meeting" GA I never believed he was around all the time. I knew he flashed in when somebody else needed assistance, but I thought he begrudgingly arrived when I was so spiritually lost it was his obligation to show up and kick some spiritual butt. Like he had drawn the shortest straw with the guardians. Obviously everyone has a guardian angel or I certainly wouldn't have one, right?
I gradually learned to pay closer attention to coincidences and to this zapping thing that would happen to me ever since I can remember. A tingly feeling starting at the top of my head and working down my body--usually happened when I was wrestling with spiritual decisions, pondering what was the right thing to do--when I was struck speechless by the beauty of words or the earth or music or love--and it was always there at those spiritual light bulb moments. Hard to explain because I wasn't paying attention as to when it happened--it had just always happened on occasion and I related it to soul-positive things.
Fast forward to January, 1993. I had been married twice and my second live-in relationship was ending. My dream of finding that soulmate had slipped through my fingers--several times. There was obviously something deeply flawed in me. And I was unable to make good choices when it came to men--period. So, I totally gave up. Washed my hands of it. Handed my love life over to God/GA. Vowed that I would never get involved again unless the man was "GA Approved". And told GA that he would have to be as hit-me-over-the-head-obvious about it as he was with the quitting smoking. (Been alone since--ROFL!)
I thought my spiritual path had been the most important thing in my life, but I was so easily sidetracked by wanting to be loved (men), money issues, jobs, moving, and starting over so many times my head was spinning. I told GA that I wanted to put my spiritual path first from now on.
[Aside: I couldn't remember which year this all started and just went to go look it up in a box where I knew I had the "Soul Comfort" sheet I wrote out to give to people I worked on years ago. I just now realized that after I grumpily declared these things to GA in January--it was a few months later that I caught my fingers in a pressure roller at my fairly new job (I didn't want to be sidetracked by work so I got a factory job)--and then later my wrist muscles shredded because of the first accident and I was forced to leave that job....and the long downward health spiral began. ?? Maybe GA had to help kick me (forcefully!) right off my path--several times--before I ended up here in Fargo unable to do much of anything at all anymore! I am very stubborn and single minded at times. *ahem* Talk about your putting your spiritual path first, eh? Be careful what you ask for--ROFL!! Everything happens for a reason. Even if you have to wait a decade or two to be able to look back and see the bigger picture more clearly. LOL!!]
Anyways--I also don't recall exactly (but it was around Jan 1993) when I had one of those GA information things as I was waking up where he told me I was to learn how to do what I did in a crisis without the crisis.
What?! Come again?
He brought the accident with the girl who was hit by a car into my head. "Remember. Think about it."
I had forgotten all about her. Dagan was about three years old. I had split up with his dad (for the second and last time) and Dagan and I were living in Coon Rapids nearby where my dad worked. My folks encouraged me to come over and wash clothes over at their place to save money and my dad had picked us up after work with all our dirty clothes. It was cold, dusk, and it had started to snow--enough that there was a dusting of snow on the ground. Had to be late fall/early winter because there wasn't much snow accumulated on the ground at all--may have even been the first snowfall? We were driving down East River Road in Fridley--two lanes each direction and we were in the far right lane. My dad is a careful driver and the car up ahead of us, I noted, must have been, also, because we were keeping pace with him as the sun was disappearing.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl crossing in the middle of the road. A bus had just gone by in the other direction, so I figured she must have just gotten off the bus. I hadn't noticed her until she was about to cross the center line and come trotting across our lanes of traffic--head down--watching her feet so she didn't slip. But she never glanced up and kept going! And ran right in front of that car ahead of us!! She flew up and over the hood and landed on the side of the road!
Stop! Stop! I shouted at my dad! He pulled over. I told Dagan to stay right there in the car and wait--and I ran down the road toward the girl. I remember thinking maybe she was dying or having a seizure--because her legs were out stiff and shaking oddly. I tried to remember what I did--auto-pilot is a blurry thing. But I know I immediately got down on my knees in the snow besides her on her right side and held her hand. She was not conscious.
The driver was beside himself. I remember telling him it wasn't his fault--she never looked up to see him coming. A remember a couple strangers showed up--I asked someone to call an ambulance (this was long before cell phones and I don't know if we even had 911 yet?) and people to go look for a blanket or something. She was alive because she started to shiver. I told the driver man to go out on the road and get her shoe and I saw a book. He really needed something to do--was frozen in panic. So he did that in between cars.
She started to come to and was fighting to get up! I knew she shouldn't move. I laid my hand fully on her forehead--telling her to just lie still--and she sunk back onto the ground. Someone did come with a blanket or something to lay over her--but I remember I didn't let go of her hand to help them with the blanket. I remember explaining to her that she'd been hit by a car and that the ambulance was coming and she was going to be alright. I slowly stroked her forehead--like you are brushing hair back, you know? Told her--I'm here. I'll stay right here until they come. She never spoke. Just nodded her head that once. And she laid quietly while I talked to her-until the ambulance men came racing up. Couldn't have been more than 10 or 15 minutes from the time she was hit. I moved when they told me to.
My dad had come up. I remembered seeing him earlier. Where did the people come from? Cars that stopped? There wasn't really much around there as far as buildings go? I remember wondering where they had found to call for the ambulance? I listened to her cry and watched as they cut her jean pant's leg up the side and saw the bone sticking out of her leg--poor thing! Gave a policeman my memory and then dad and I walked back to the car where little Dagan was sitting so quietly in the warm car--waiting with big eyes. I told him all about what happened.
[Aside: I wrote everything down when I got to my folks' place and gave a detailed statement over the phone a few days later. Years later the case was going to court and they called me to testify. I saw the girl in the hallway, but she quickly turned away from any eye contact. I was relieved that she was okay, tho--and walked fine. I was there to repeat my story that the man couldn't have possibly expected anyone to run across three lanes of traffic right in front of his car in the near darkness. Not that I blamed her, either. She was a young teenager at the time, with her mind on other things and made a grave mistake. Someone came out and said they didn't need me to physically testify after they read my statement. But I was glad I got to see her.]
Anyways, so how do you deliberately replicate whatever the heck it was that you did in a crisis? Good grief! I usually couldn't remember too much of what I said--even right afterwards. I was totally lost on how on earth to proceed.
Different mornings I'd be told--"remember-think about it"--and be reminded of these things I already mentioned--the hamster--the crow--the tornadoes--the people on bummers--Dagan--and other incidents in my life.
Well, first of all, when you are on auto-pilot you do not think about yourself at all. In fact, I was so totally focused on the other person or animal that I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings unless I had to be. But how do you put yourself in that state of mind without an emergency to act on?
I "got" to sit quietly.
Well, my brain was always going 90mph and I couldn't shut it off. I tried music, but everything I had back then had somebody singing and I'd just listen and daydream and think. I was telling my friend, Ruby, about my dilemma and Ruby said she had recently heard this music on Public Radio and had gotten the cassette. Said she'd send me a copy. Music To Disappear In by Raphael. Well, the second it started I knew--this was it! (New age music and I became the best of friends--hehe!)
I practiced and practiced--until as soon as I heard Music To Disappear In begin I was like Pavlov's dog and could feel myself fall into the zone pretty quickly. This was not an easy task and took me months to accomplish. (I haven't been called "motor mouth" in my lifetime for nothing--hehe!)
Send energy out through your hands.
Huh? I don't remember that part. No--I don't remember doing that at all!
Okay then--I guess I needed something to focus on--to put my hands on. I used to do this in bed before I went to sleep and a girl I used to work with named Roxy had given me this stuffed rabbit for Christmas. I was not a stuffed animal person and wondered why on earth she had given me this stuffed rabbit in the first place. Well, it would do, I guess. In most times I remembered I focused on heads and hands. This stuffed bunny had a head and tiny stumpy arms, right? It would have to do.
So, I practiced with my music and my bunny--feeling mighty foolish at times, I tell you--not having a clue whether this was working or not working--or if I was doing it properly or just wasting my time holding a stuffed bunny's head--ROFL!
I had only told my closest people about any of this "bunny stuff". Didn't know what else to call it, you know? I felt kind of ridiculous and pompous to think I could actually do any of this in the first place, so a bit of a silly label seemed fitting. I didn't think of any of this as "energy work" or "meditation" or any of those terms at that time. Just was trying to figure out with GA's guidance how to do what he "suggested" that I learn how to do.
Since his next step was to try this with actual people--well, I needed to call it something, right? It became "bunny stuff".
And here is my favorite part of Music To Disappear In. It lifts the soul. At least mine. Enjoy! :):)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Just a quick note. Actually I am so tired I can't see straight. I have had a total of three hours sleep since I woke up at 8:45pm on Sunday night, so that's why I haven't written part four yet. I'm waiting for Caroline to arrive about 2pm and maybe after she's done cleaning I might be lucky and sleep a day or two--ROFL!
Anyways, Leah picked me up after work last night. She had a chiropractic appointment and I just sat in the car and looked at the various evening lights.
The tree in the chiro's office.
The intersection activity...
And the white holiday stars strung along the roadway.
After Leah was done we went to the bank so we could deposit Christmas monies. ;) Then--zip-zip--and I was back home. Using Christmas money and most of the profit from the etsy shop--made an order last night! A new company I have never ordered from before--http://www.stampingscrapping.com/
The big purchase--a set of 36 Copic Ciao markers--in the new papercrafting set of colors. When I found this on sale a couple days ago it was the only place around that had the super-duper sale price--and I got the last one! Now there are a lot of places that have the copic marker sets on sale, but most of them are sold out. ;) Happy me!
Anywhooo--I figured this was the perfect time to get my very first copic markers--to buy myself a special Christmas present--tada! I've been checking them out online for over a year--so I am so excited!!
Also ordered the spellbinders rectangles for our Cuttlebug and a few other things--all on sale--tada!! I'll show them to you when UPS comes knocking! :)
I did watch Eat, Pray, Love and it was pretty good. Julia Roberts is always good, of course. I have a feeling that the book would be even better. She goes thru so much inner transformation that I'm sure the book would have a lot more to say on that score, you know? It was fascinating to see the three completely different cultures, too, in the parts of the world she visited.
Well, I think I might try to doze in my chair here until Caroline comes. ;)
I ate--now I'm praying--would love some sleep--ROFL!!
And as soon as I get some precious winks I'll be back with part four. :):)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Amazing sunrise Sunday morning!
I wonder if a red sunrise means it is going to warm up? If I was an old Swedish farmer maybe I'd know those things--hehe! But it has warmed up so that we're reaching into the 20's during the day.
This is just a little thank you video to Kero and Mr. Weakers from Karma. ;)
"Take care of yourself--you never know when the world will need you."
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Was a quiet, peaceful Christmas for me and Miss Karma.
She's still lovin' the round fur-lined catbed.
Karma had a very special Christmas present all the way from Wales!
From Tori's dog, Kero, and guinea pig, Gwydion (or Mr. Weakers).
I had to chuckle at the cat-head shaped container.
Karma LOVES these treats!! She went nuts! I will have to see if I can find these up here. Thank you super-duper much from Karma!!
My days and nights have been flipped again. This is what it looked like Christmas Eve morning. People were out brushing snow off their cars.
We had a bit of freezing rain along the way...
...so there was some windshield scraping, too.
Working on the parts is taking up most of my good hours every day. I've had a little good time left over, tho, so I have been slowly working step-by-step on making up a whole bunch of bookcards so that I am stockpiled for a while. I picked out pre-cut covers from this flowered box I have them stored in.
Then I picked out a signature (set of pre-cut folded sheets) for each cover.
Here they are with the covers properly folded and the signature tucked inside.
Big batch this time!
36 of them ready to sew together.
The next step is to poke the holes for the thread using my cardboard cradle.
I use this template I made from heavy cardstock. Well, I made it this far, anyways.
I've gotten quite a few nice cards, but I wanted to show you the hand-painted one I got from Donn in Florida who's in the Chinese Brush Painting Yahoo Group! Wow! It's not often you get a hand-painted card!! Thanks so much, Donn! I love cardinals. Rarely see them up here.
My friend, Ruby, included this cartoon in her card. She knew it would absolutely crack me up. I hope you can see it. You can click to enlarge it. Ahh! Cats. Gotta love'em.
I sewed one bookcard together because I needed one, but wasn't up to the assembly-line hole punching yet. Maybe after I have slept again...which should be fairly soon.
Was the strangest sky on Christmas morning.
A little more snow, too.
But what a strange sun in the sky trying to peek through the clouds. Odd colored, almost greenish clouds. Pretty in a haunting kind of way.
Just wanted to pop in so I wouldn't get too far behind with pictures and my normal life. ;)
I watched the end of the last season of Northern Exposure over the holidays. The final year wasn't as good as the other five seasons, but it was still okay, I guess. Such great characters!
Today I have Eat, Pray, Love to watch. And I've been so busy writing I haven't seen my Christmas favs yet. I played shows that had choirs and music while I wrote--even the best of Andy Williams Christmas specials! In fact, I think maybe it's time for It's A Wonderful Life. (I watch Christmas stuff till New Years--hehe!)
I hope everybody had a really great Christmas. From what I've seen on the blogs, it looks like you all did. Next--New Year's!! :):)
"Every act of love is a work of peace no matter how small."